


You can take what you want from me (just offer me your time)

by Quanna



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Kissing, They're sad and they don't know how to talk so they make out instead, is it healthy? No. Do I care? No
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28506189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quanna/pseuds/Quanna
Summary: This isn't how she wanted it to go, but when Yaz pulls her in and kisses her, the Doctor selfishly, cruelly, doesn't stop her.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 73





	You can take what you want from me (just offer me your time)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [suddenwretched](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suddenwretched/gifts).



> Me: Doctor/Companion mostly bad  
> Also me: but what if these two women/woman and woman-adjecent Eldrich horror had very complicated feelings for each other and kissed 
> 
> Just fyi this isn't happy bc they're not happy, I also wrote it in 3 hours after the episode so yeah it is what it is folks
> 
> Title from To The Top by Twin Shadow which is an excellent Thirteen & Yaz song.

This isn't how she wanted it to go. 

Time is laughing at her, taunting her with glimpses of all the could-have-beens and never-weres while her friends, her _fam_ , walk out of the TARDIS because she couldn't keep her end of the bargain. 

They're moving on just like she told them to, because they're gentle and kind and all the other things she promised and failed to be. 

"It's okay to be sad," Yaz says through tears next to her, and her hearts shatter.

 _Not this way_ , she wants to say, turning her back on the TARDIS doors and mapping out a course to anywhere that isn't Sheffield, January 2021. She could - she's done it before. It's easy once you know how - 

"Doctor."

She shrugs Yaz's hand off her shoulder and punches in a few best-guess coordinates, just to get the loop started. It's a piece of cake, really-

"Stop it, just stop it!" 

Yaz grabs her and shoves her against the console, knocking her elbow against a navigational subroutine. The force of it surprises both of them and the TARDIS beeps in alarm, lights flaring with the pain shooting through the Doctor's arm. 

"You cannot fix this," Yaz begs, her hands on the Doctor's lapels. "It's done."

Cruel, cruel Time has not been kind to Yasmin Khan. 300 days have sunk themselves into her face, battered her smile and dulled the light in her beautiful eyes. 

"It's done," Yaz repeats, trying to convince herself. "It's done." 

She fists her hands in the Doctor's coat and pushes her again, crowding her against the console until they're toe to toe. 

Yaz's eyes bore into hers, full of anger and betrayal and hurt and something far more dangerous. 

The TARDIS howls a warning in her head, and if she was anything resembling a better person she'd listen. 

But she isn't, and she's starting to think she'll probably never be. 

This isn't how she wanted it to go, but when Yaz pulls her in and kisses her, the Doctor selfishly, cruelly, doesn't stop her. 

Yaz isn't gentle. The Doctor doesn't care. She ghosts her fingers over Yaz's temples, relishes in the electric sting of betrayal under her fingertips and pulls closer until she can feel a solitary human heartbeat against her own. 

_Alive_ , it thunders defiantly. 

Yaz sobs against her lips and the Doctor licks the inside of her mouth to drown out the sound of it, stilling when Yaz does the same. 

_Alive Alive Alive Alive_

Her biology doesn't exactly lend itself to human intimacy at the best of times, but decades in solitary have really hacked into her barriers. Yaz's presence thuds at the base of her skull, growing louder until she's in danger of overloading.

Three seconds away from a sensory shutdown Yaz pulls back, beautiful eyes wide with dawning horror. 

The Doctor silences her before she can even start, leaning in until their noses are touching. "It's done."

Yaz releases her desperate grip on the Doctor's coat with a sob, grounding herself to the double beat of the Doctor's treacherous old hearts. 

The Doctor threads their fingers together, feeling a bloom of hope from Yaz that has her blinking furiously again. 

"It's okay to be sad," Yaz whispers. "It's okay." 

Words failing, the Doctor squeezes Yaz's hand in response. Yaz squeezes back, and then brings her lips to Doctor's eyes. Gently, she kisses the tears from the Doctor's face until she's at her mouth again. This time, it's soft; Time weaving the could-be's and shouldn't's of Yaz's mouth on hers into a treacherous web.

When Yaz pulls back this time, the Doctor catches her sleeve and draws her into a hug. 

"I'm not ready to let you go yet," she whispers against her skin. 

(She'll learn to live with it eventually. She always does, in the end.)


End file.
